I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
