I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
