Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your penis caused this!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
