I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sober January is a disaster.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
