we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
