who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
