whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
