Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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