just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
