so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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