Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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