the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
