the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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