We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
