are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
sex in a hospital.. check
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
