Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
