you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
