I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
