guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
