She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
