i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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