? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
