her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
