You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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