I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
