Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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