I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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