You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I want her autograph on my taint
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
