they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
