Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
