Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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