Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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