Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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