I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
