You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
COCAINE IS GR8
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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