What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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