I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize