Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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