I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
