That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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