I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
