He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
