Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
