Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
