that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
