Walk of Shame. In a state park.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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