don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
