nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
