I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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