paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
